Over the past few weeks I have been feeling really down. I haven't been my happy and upbeat self. The funny thing is that I have no idea why I have been so depressed. I kept trying to figure out if it was the encumbering pressure from getting schoolwork done or the fact that I've been single for two years and haven't been able to find a meaningful relationship with that special girl
Not to mention, I've been very distant towards my friends and my social life has taken a critical hit. I went to see a movie at the theatre by myself for crying out loud.
But whenever I get like this, I get on my iTunes and listen to a playlist of slow songs that have the saddest and most melancholic melodies or painful break-up songs. I guess I do it in order for me to relate to and even remind me that my life can't be that bad. As a result, I slowly start to feel better.
The weird part about it though is that it has become an addiction. I look forward to being angry and crestfallen all the time so I can listen to depressing songs. It's just ironic how I find happiness in my state of constant depression.
Some of my friends have noticed that I've been acting different and they ask me what's wrong but I'd be crazy to tell them what's going on with me.
